Font Abuse

We live in an era of unprecedented font variety and availability. Any average Joe can Google "hip, super-edgy, depraved grunge font" and choose from an almost-unlimited selection of legal and illegal (shame) fonts. So why is it that there are so many poor font choices these days? And why do those same hideous fonts get used over and over?

It is with that question in mind that I give you my list of fonts that I'm sick of seeing:

Arial

Arial owes its existence to MIcrosoft. When choosing system fonts, the folks at Microsoft were too cheap to pay the licensing fees for Helvetica, opting instead to create Helvetica's annoying little cousin, Arial (read more here). As a quintisenntial default font, the use of Arial in documents and memos may be deemed understandable (but still amateur); however the font is disturbingly chosen for use in areas that lean more towards design than function. Equally as obnoxious are both ends of Arial's "S," which are in a constant sisyphean struggle to flatten out.

Bleeding Cowboy

Just reading this moronic font makes me feel like I'm live in the drizzle at a Creed concert surrounded by skinny rednecks in wife-beaters. This font is unfortunately used in several high-profile designs where "edgy grunge" is king.

Impact

When the design whiz kid at the office is commissioned to create a corporate cookout flyer that will "make an impact," he immediately rushes to Microsoft Power Point and cannot select the font "Impact" soon enough for the job. Smooth. To make matters worse, this stale font is used for those dumb cat caption pictures.

Rockwell

Every web designer must think they're the first genius to utilize this tired font on a hip Web 2.0 site. Quit being lazy and get creative.

Comic Sans

It could be a eulogy at a funeral (or an angry letter from an NBA owner for that matter), but if it's set in Comic Sans, there is no chance of me taking it seriously. Comic Sans has become the "go-to" font for: elementary schools, pets, playgrounds, and day cares. There is also a widespread and wrong notion that the font recreates quaint handwriting. This would be the case, except that I don't doodle with a giant crayon held in my fist and that I don't write the same letter exactly the same every time.

Trajan

Next time you see a movie poster, look closely, because there's a 96% chance it is set in Trajan. (Although, it could be worse. I'm looking at you, Avatar: see below.) Apparently those pesky web designers aren't just designing websites.

Papyrus

Invented by Moses as the typeface of the Septuigint, Papyrus has gone on to become the official typeface of Asia, gardening, Christianity, an organic lifestyle, the beach, and third world countries. Secretaries, schoolteachers, and soccer moms have been wowing the masses with their keenly creative selection of this tattered font for that classic "ancient" look (whether we're talking 400 or 4,000 years ago). The only thing ancient about this font is the history of its abuse. Even the multi-million dollar Avatar couldn't do any better than good ole' (or should I say, ancient) Pappy (and yes, the header on this poster is ironically set in Trajan).